Conversion, Conversation, Classrooms

To the men on my Facebook and the women who are like them:

You know who you are.  You are the ones who speak to me as if every feminist quote and metaphor and rant I post is an opportunity to question me, to interrogate me, to make me defend my beliefs.  I don't simply get to rant or let off steam, I must make my Facebook wall/page/timeline/whatever-the-heck-it-is-this week an open classroom and you are my primary pupil.  I must convert you, convince you, watch my tone and mind my manners.  I must be prepared with iron-clad stats from quadruple-blind studies and I must forever have patience with you for not understanding or coming in on the conversation midway.  I am not allowed to lose my temper or let my frustration show.  I am the eternal teacher to my cause, a missionary with the patience of a saint.  I am good.

Except I'm not.  It's 3 AM and I'm not allowed to simply identify with a measly graphic and slap it up on my feed in a sigh of relief and a "HALLELUJAH!  SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS."  I have to defend it, to debate it, to pull up statistics and take the time to teach you.  I know this is the Internet and everything is public.  Letting off some feminist-related steam on Facebook is akin to skinny dipping in your backyard pool: the neighbors can still see you from their balcony.  But my "backyard" is one of the few places I can let off steam in the first place, the one place where I will find the largest concentration of supporters and sympathetic ears.  If I can quietly scroll past your graphics about God, gun-control, and Gears of War then I hope you can damn well do the same.

So listen, my loves, and listen good.  You are not my primary classroom.  None of you are.  Those of you who come to me with open hearts ready to empathise, ready to listen, ready to understand and ask me thoughtful questions so we can genuinely find a middle ground, this is not to you.  By now we have had enough conversations that you and I know how to reach each other and make ourselves heard.  The rest of you, the ones who ask me if I understand "objective" reality without first asking yourselves how to understand the reality in which I live (one where sexual harassment, rape, and gender discrimination are all too real), get out.  Now.  It is not my job to educate you.  Although I am an academic I am not responsible for the module that will open your mind, nor am I paid enough to take the time to teach you.
And the last thing I am is a missionary, knocking on your door to convert you to my cause with a frozen smile and a desperate plan.  I will not come to you with what I know, I will not spoon-feed you or tone myself down just because your feelings are hurt.  This is my feminism, hard fought and hard won: to the one particular group who challenge me for the sake of a challenge rather than seeking to understand, EITHER YOU STEP TO ME OR YOU STEP THE HELL AWAY.